Should we do more to help paedophiles?

By Rebecca Roache

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Luke Malone has published an extremely moving, disturbing, and distressing article in Medium, entitled ‘You’re 16. You’re a pedophile. You don’t want to hurt anyone. What do you do now?’ (warning: Malone’s article contains a graphic description of child abuse). The article focuses on ‘Adam’, a young man who, aged 16, was horrified to discover that he was sexually attracted to children. Disturbed by his sexual desires, and desperate to avoid acting on them, he suffered depression and initially used child pornography as an outlet for his feelings. (He subsequently stopped doing this.) Adam describes how he eventually went to see a therapist, who was unsympathetic, inexperienced in this area, and ultimately of little help. It turns out that, despite the fact that paedophilia is recognised as a mental disorder, there are major obstacles to helping people who, like Adam, are desperate to avoid harming children. Malone summarises some of the main problems:

There is currently no mechanism for treating someone who has pedophilic urges and hasn’t acted on them. A major roadblock is the existence of mandatory reporting laws, which dictate that people in certain professions must report suspicion of child abuse and neglect to Child Protective Services. … Mandated reporting revolutionized the way child abuse is handled in the U.S. and has brought many incidents to light, but it can be problematic for young men like Adam who haven’t abused children. The civil and criminal liabilities facing those who fail to report someone who goes on to molest a kid, combined with the fact that it need only be based on suspicion and not probable cause, means a report could be triggered when well-intentioned individuals reach out for help. The overwhelming number of minor-attracted men I spoke with said this was too much of a deterrent.

(Malone focuses on the US context. In the UK, there is no similarly clear-cut legal obligation to report suspected child abuse; nevertheless, there exist penalties for professionals who fail to report it.)

That non-offending paedophiles tend not to make themselves known to medical staff—or, indeed, to anyone else—means that not only do they not receive professional help to curtail their urges, but also that very little is known about them scientifically. It is, for example, poorly understood how and why people become paedophiles, how their condition progresses, and what factors make it more or less likely that they will go on to abuse children. As a result, it is difficult to know what steps to take to prevent paedophiles from harming others.

The result is a very uncomfortable and disturbing situation. We do not want child-abusing paedophiles in our society, yet we do nothing to prevent paedophiles from becoming child abusers. As a society, our efforts are reactive: it is only when a paedophile is found to have already abused children that society’s mechanisms spring into action to prevent the paedophile from causing any further harm. But, by that stage, of course, children have already been harmed. What can we do about this?

Well, it looks like our strong desire not to tolerate child abuse is itself obstructive to efforts to prevent it. Child abusers are perhaps the most widely loathed class of criminals—and understandably so. Few psychological traits are as appalling to us as the sexual attraction of an adult to children. We do not stop to question the extent to which child abusers are responsible for their actions—we just want them locked up, disposed of, sent away somewhere where they cannot harm our children. Non-offending paedophiles like Adam know all this, and it gives them a strong incentive to keep quiet about their desires.

In attempting to extend help to those like Adam, there are at least two major problems to overcome. The first is largely a cultural or political problem: given society’s attitude to paedophiles, it would take a brave and sympathetic government to attempt to persuade its citizens that investing money in helping paedophiles is worthwhile. This would involve distinguishing between child-abusing and non-child-abusing paedophiles—a distinction rarely made, perhaps because it’s the child-abusing paedophiles that we come to hear about—and arguing that the latter deserve our compassion and our money. Imagine the Daily Mail headlines! The current government, which apparently does not believe that any kind of mentally ill people really need treatment, is almost certainly neither willing to meet such a challenge, nor capable of doing so. As a result, the UK and Ireland’s Stop It Now! helpline, which (among other things) offers advice to paedophiles who are worried that they may go on to commit child abuse, is so under-funded that it misses four times the number of calls it takes; and in 2011 the government was apparently keen to stress that taxpayers’ money was not used to fund an NSPCC helpline aimed at counselling paedophiles who have offended and are afraid of relapsing. Given this, any future government faces an uphill struggle to persuade the public that counselling for paedophiles is a worthwhile use of taxpayers’ money. Having said that, increasingly there are programmes outside the UK aimed at helping paedophiles avoid offending—the Preventell helpline in Sweden and the Prevention Project Dunkelfeld in Germany—which may provide reason to be optimistic about future efforts in this direction in the UK.

The second problem is more theoretical. If we take seriously the idea that paedophiles need help to avoid acting on their urges, do we risk encouraging the view that they are not morally responsible when they do abuse children? Do we risk, for example, endorsing the idea that the undeniably repulsive Ian Watkins could not help meticulously planning and attempting the rape of an eleven-month-old, abusing numerous other children, and amassing an electronic stock of child pornography that was a breath-taking five times the size of the police force that investigated him? I think it is overly pessimistic to suppose that we cannot admit that paedophiles might need help to control their urges without thereby committing to the idea that they are not responsible for abusing children. There are many examples of ways in which society currently offers to help people control their undesirable or illegal behaviour without excusing those who fail to act appropriately. For example, efforts are made to rehabilitate criminals, but those who nevertheless go on to commit crimes are held accountable for those crimes. And anger-management therapy is available for those who have trouble controlling their temper, yet people are still held accountable for crimes committed in anger. Given this, there seems no reason to suppose that offering paedophiles help to control their urges should undermine attempts to hold them responsible when they do abuse children.

Even so, in offering to help paedophiles to control their urges, would we risk conveying to them—through extending understanding and sympathy—that being a paedophile is somehow acceptable? Not necessarily. Lessons here can perhaps be taken from Dr Hanna Pickard’s work with people suffering from personality disorders. Her approach aims to convey to patients that they are morally responsible for their behaviour, yet without engaging in blaming behaviour. Pickard explains the importance of this distinction:

To be responsible is to have control over your behaviour, in which case you can be held accountable, as well as supported to do things differently. Blame, in contrast, is about how we respond when a person is responsible for harm. We blame someone when, in addition to asking someone to answer for their behaviour and to change, we also do things like retaliate and reject them, judge them or write them off, and feel all sorts of hostile emotions, like hate, anger, disgust, scorn, and contempt. Blame gets in the way of people’s motivation to change. Responsibility and accountability, in contrast, are central to it.

This resembles the way in which we respond to misbehaviour by very young children. If my four-year-old scratches her younger brother (which, unfortunately, she occasionally does), I do not engage in the sort of blaming behaviour described by Pickard. I do, however, try to convey to her that she is responsible for her behaviour: that it is wrong, that it is unacceptable, and that she must find alternative ways of expressing her feelings. Part of this involves acknowledging and accepting her anger, annoyance, frustration (etc.)—she can do little about how she feels, after all—but focusing on there being acceptable and unacceptable means of expressing it. Similarly, we might try to accept that paedophiles cannot help having their desires, but they can help how they respond. The desires are not themselves the problem, after all: the problem is the child abuse that follows when the desires are not managed appropriately.

There are, then, ways in which we as a society might start to explore ways to help prevent paedophiles from abusing children. Doing so will not be easy. But if Adam’s story shows us anything, it shows us that burying our heads in the sand and pretending that we cannot do anything to prevent child abuse is unrealistic, and fails the very children whom we wish to protect.

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13 Responses to Should we do more to help paedophiles?

  • Stefan Arver says:

    Great “review” covering the problems dealing with prevention by treatment of persons with destructive sexual arousal stimuli. We are currently working with a prevention program offering treatment and counselling to persons with self identified risk behavior or fantasies. Conclusion so far: if low threshould access to professional treatment is offered-clients come forward and anonymity is not an issue (we can only treat people with disclosef identity. Stefam Arver

  • Rebecca Roache says:

    Thanks Stefan. Where is this prevention program you’re involved in? Is there a website?

  • Christoffer Rahm says:

    In Stockholm, Sweden:

  • Rebecca Roache says:

    Thank you Christoffer! I’ve udpated the post with a link to this, along with a similar German programme that I read about.

  • Dave Willson says:

    I think it’s very sad that any kind of “help” currently offered to paedophiles, have only one concern in mind: and that’s a concern for their potential victims. They are human beings, and they deserve to be regarded as patience, not predators. I think this video is a must-watch, as it shows just how society is blind to the reality of child abuse, and also how laws have created thought-crime regarding images of children. After watching this video, and fully understanding the information it provides, perhaps you will see it’s not the paedophiles who are the real abusers, but society as a whole. Nevertheless: thanks for speaking about such an issue. “Paedophilia” is a tool for government oppression and censorship, and makes the perfect scapegoat for the sociopaths in society.

  • Nikolas Schaffer says:

    ” If we take seriously the idea that paedophiles need help to avoid acting on their urges, do we risk encouraging the view that they are not morally responsible when they do abuse children?”

    I think it’s more a matter of acknowledging that “prevention is better than cure” when there is in fact no cure forthcoming, and that for society to leave it entirely up to the isolated individual to work out how to prevent him/herself offending is to be recklessly negligent. Because it’s also a matter of acknowledging that most paedophiles are not self-consciously ill-intentioned perverts à la Ian Watkins – they are people whose child-attraction emerges in their minds as their real sexuality in pretty much the same way as normal sexuality develops for the rest of us – it’s not something anyone sits down and plans, it just unfolds of its own accord, as far as young people’s experience of their own feelings is concerned. For most of us as adolescents, accommodating our emerging sexuality is straightforward enough (although there can still be plenty of unjustifed socially created pitfalls for LGBT people) but paedophiles face real trauma – their sexuality is not just socially dysfunctional but utterly taboo. There is no socially acceptable (or even legal) way in which it can be explored, except in their own imaginations. To be lumbered with a sexuality that can have zero social dimensions must be a very difficult burden for young people who were expecting to be embracing their future lives as fully and freely as everyone else.

    Developing effective support networks for young paedophiles will not just help keep children safe from abuse, but hopefully give the unfortunate individuals themselves a better chance of finding a safe, harmless and dignified place in the scheme of things.

  • Rebecca Roache says:

    Thanks Nikolas. I agree with you, except that where you say ‘[t]here is no socially acceptable (or even legal) way in which [paedophiles’ sexuality] can be explored, except in their own imaginations’, I would emphatically add that nor is there even any morally acceptable way that their sexuality can be explored, either. Their pursuing their sexual urges necessarily involves seriously harming vulnerable others (i.e. children) and unacceptably infringing on the rights of those others. This point is worth emphasising because a lot of things are both socially unacceptable and illegal, yet not morally repugnant – e.g. breaking one’s contractual obligations, making nuisance phonecalls, or parking one’s car selfishly.

    But absolutely yes to this: ‘I think it’s more a matter of acknowledging that “prevention is better than cure” when there is in fact no cure forthcoming, and that for society to leave it entirely up to the isolated individual to work out how to prevent him/herself offending is to be recklessly negligent.’

    • Nikolas Schaffer says:

      You’re right Rebecca, but I was looking at it there from the point of view of the adolescent paedophile who first needs to grapple with the absence of a social context for his/her sexuality. Obviously coming to an understanding of why this is the case – and why their sexuality needs to be “quarantined”, if it can’t be redirected – will be a necessary part of that journey, and one that requires sympathetic support and advice.

      • Nikolas Schaffer says:

        “Obviously coming to an understanding of why this is the case…”

        …was meant to be: “Obviously coming to an ethical understanding of why this is the case…”

        Sorry, so easy to leave that word out 🙂

  • B Akoury says:

    They are monsters. No other word describes them

    • Debbie says:

      Sadly we cannot control our sexual fantasies. People with these fantasies need help to channel their thoughts and desires safely

  • MCA says:

    I do wonder if many would accept more invasive methods of treatment. Not in a Dr. Mengle “Let’s do crazy inhumane medical experimentation” sense, but rather if, for instance, deep-brain stimulation could be applied (since it’s already worked for depression, OCD, Epilepsy, and chronic pain).

    The advantage is that, while no government wants to seem pro-pedophile, they could likely get traction by labeling it as “a search for a way to fix/cure pedophiles”. Most of the early stages of research could be purely non-invasive (fMRI, etc) or use cadavers donated by deceased pedophiles. And given the torment suggested by those struggling not to “re-offend”, I suspect there’d be a fair few volunteers (shit, people still use ex-gay therapy). Shit, in 50 years it could be an out-patient procedure.

    As I said, don’t think of this suggestion in a “let’s torture them!” way, but rather a somewhat starry-eyed techno-upotian “Let’s give humans the ability to re-write their own brains as it suits them.” Who knows what doors it could open? I could certainly use a few hundred TB of extra memory, maybe some upgrades to my cerebrum and somatic cortex to fix my cruddy hand-eye-coordination.

  • Julia says:

    The people who blanch at the idea of working with sex offenders, or in this case potential offenders, seem to not recognize the reality of how we currently handle the situation.

    I work in a jail in the US. I work with a man who molested a young girl, regrets it deeply, and has repeatedly asked for help to stop this kind of behavior in himself. He will be locked up for two years, at which point he will be released with a GPS monitor and re-incarcerated if he breaks any stipulation of his probation. No sort of written materials on the topic can be provided to him in jail, because his life would be in danger there if other inmates knew the nature of his crime. Mental health staff, myself included, don’t have any sort of training in how to help him.

    When someone commits a sex crime, they don’t get put away for life. In a few years, they are back out without any treatment for the actual problem. It’s not fair to them or to our children to simply punish with no attempt at rehabilitation.


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